Yep. There's more to this story and I'm afraid to say that I don't know when it will end, but that is a very true statement. I DON'T know. [bummer] Because I like to know...certain things anyway. When I don't, I feel lost, confused, and misguided. But when you follow God, you're none of those things. Following Him is like being led, thinking that you're blind, by a person who knows the house you're walking through because not only do they have the plans in their hand, they drew the plans up. A win-win situation one would say. And I would agree. Yet, I would be lying if I said it was easy, that I didn't want to give up, that I didn't want to do what I know is "safe". Well, to make this jump right in, the enemy [the devil] has been REALLY attacking us in our relationship. Now, my husband and I are VERY committed to each other. We're not people who believe divorce is an option (nor do we believe that swinging or having an open marriage is either) and so because of that, we like to try and stay on top of having a fun relationship with lots of communication and intimacy.
Well. We are definitely aware that the enemy doesn't want us to have a successful marriage. So we have been attacked on all fronts. Our children have become the centerpiece of this attack because we have 3 of them...(more on that later) and most of the time they are shunned because of the number of them. It may seem petty but it is the size of it all. I will never understand it but I can only hope and PRAY that I am not like this when my children have children. That's the biggest thing because there are two sides to that. I don't want my children to grow up thinking they aren't good enough or they are too many in number to be kept by family. We also need that time alone. I am always with the kids because we homeschool. Not a pity party. It's something we've chosen and we're sticking to it. But rather than see our situation for what it is and truly HELP, family rather acts like they [the children] are the plague and that hurts.
That's been the biggest deal. But other things are just things that you would expect a child to do. Keep coming around while you are "alone" with your spouse just to get in the middle of things. On purpose. Knocking on the door, saying doors shouldn't be closed, not wanting to watch the kids even for an hour or 2 just so we can be alone to talk. On the one hand it doesn't make any sense. The other hand. We know exactly what it is about. Hard? Yes, very. Can we do anything about it? Yeah, probably. Should we? Probably not. And that's where the confusion comes in.
Oh well....I think my time is done for today. I will come again with more on our story.
Paz.
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